A toast to grandparents

Grandparents Day, observed every second Sunday of September, may seem like a modern, Western-influenced holiday, but its relevance to Filipino culture is undeniable.

In a country where close-knit families are not only the norm but the backbone of society, grandparents hold a revered place. As pillars of wisdom, guardians of tradition, and reservoirs of unconditional love, Filipino grandparents have shaped and continue to shape generations.

On this special day, we reflect on their indispensable roles, celebrate their lives and honor their contributions to the Filipino family dynamic.

Yesterday, Filipinos raised a metaphorical toast to their lolos and lolas — not with wine glasses, but with overflowing plates of home-cooked food, laughter, and heartfelt gratitude.

While some families attended Mass or prayed together, others gathered for special meals at home or in restaurants, ensuring that the day is filled with warmth and appreciation.

In Filipino culture, grandparents often assume more than just a background role in the family. Known affectionately as “lolo” and “lola,” they are figures of authority, compassion, and immense influence. This is deeply rooted in the cultural value of utang na loob (debt of gratitude) and pakikisama (harmony).

Filipino families typically emphasize respect for elders, which transcends everyday courtesies like pagmamano (a gesture of respect by placing one’s forehead on an elder’s hand). It also manifests in the way elders are consulted in major family decisions, with their experiences and advice carrying immense weight.

Often, grandparents are seen as second parents, particularly in households where both parents work. They are deeply involved in raising their grandchildren, passing on moral lessons, cultural traditions and the language of their region.

Beyond just a babysitting role, many Filipino grandparents assume the mantle of primary caregiver, ensuring the continuity of family values. Their storytelling also becomes an avenue for younger generations to connect with their roots—whether through tales of historical events, folk stories, or family anecdotes.

Grandparents in the Philippines, like elsewhere, have made sacrifices that often go unnoticed or unspoken. Whether they lived through war, hardship, or economic struggles, their stories are woven with resilience.

Many Filipino grandparents, especially those who lived during tumultuous periods like World War II or Martial Law, have shown incredible fortitude. Even today, the role of grandparents can be financially taxing, particularly in extended families where they still contribute to household income or take responsibility for the education of their grandchildren.

Yet, these sacrifices are rarely viewed with bitterness by Filipino grandparents. Instead, they are often seen as acts of love — a legacy of care that will echo through generations.

Grandparents Day gives families an opportunity to acknowledge these efforts in a manner they might not do every day. In the Philippines, celebrating this day isn’t just about giving cards or flowers; it’s about deeper gestures, like cooking favorite dishes for grandparents, gathering for family prayers, or organizing reunions that celebrate the enduring strength of the family.

As the world modernizes and technology drives societal shifts, the role of elders in preserving tradition becomes even more crucial. The fast pace of modern life, especially in urban settings, can sometimes disconnect the younger generations from the rich tapestry of Filipino traditions.

Grandparents, however, bridge that gap. They are the keepers of traditions — whether it’s the celebration of festivals, customs surrounding births, weddings, or religious holidays, or the passing down of heirlooms and recipes.

Their wisdom is not limited to cultural practices but also extends to life lessons — ones that have been honed by experience. In a culture where faith, family and bayanihan (community spirit) are paramount, grandparents often serve as the moral compass for their families. Their faith is a steadfast example for many, and their community involvement, even in their older years, reflects the enduring Filipino value of helping others. In them, the youth find not just fond memories but blueprints for living a meaningful and connected life.