King of the -ber months

Every September, as the humidity hangs in the air and the Philippines has barely inched into the second half of the year, a collective shudder of anticipation ripples through the archipelago. It’s not because of typhoons or political scandals, though those are always around the corner. No, this is a far more powerful force — Jose Mari Chan.

The man has become a seasonal deity, his cheerful visage and catchy jingles synonymous with the longest Christmas season in the world. Forget that it’s still technically a month away from Halloween and that this elongated Yuletide period should technically be classified as a health hazard. The sight of his grinning face has become the unofficial harbinger of joy — or depending on whom you ask, impending financial doom.

Year after year, the memes surface like clockwork. As soon as the first of September hits, Chan’s face appears on our timelines like a jolly omnipresent ghost — his eternal grin burning into our souls like tinsel-wrapped fire. He has upstaged everything, even politicians vying for attention, as they try to scramble their way into the public’s mind space with budget defenses and grandstanding.

Vice President Sara Duterte, normally a formidable force in any room, found her memetic “shimenet” (she may not) flub taking a back seat to the great Chan. It’s not that her viral mispronunciation wasn’t brilliant — it certainly was — but there’s something about Jose Mari Chan’s almost menacing levels of wholesomeness that makes even the most savage political barbs seem like nothing more than white noise.

It’s an annual phenomenon that rivals even the most absurd political sagas in the Philippines, where scandals, gaffes, and viral moments don’t even get a full 24-hour news cycle anymore. Enter Chan, smiling and singing, “Christmas in our hearts,” as if our hearts aren’t already bruised by the year’s rollercoaster ride of politics, inflation and the like. But the man remains relentless, and the people, for some reason, can’t get enough.

Meanwhile, VP Sara is busy defending her budget, a serious and somewhat dull task that often has the public’s eyes glazing over faster than the blinking of an LED Christmas light. But there was a moment — a brief, shining moment —where she was on the brink of hijacking the meme cycle herself.

The “shimenet” incident, where she stumbled over her words while talking about the OVP budget, became a viral hit. The VP, with her mispronounced yet oddly musical “shimenet,” looked like she might ride this viral wave all the way to internet fame, but alas, not even her verbal slip-ups could compete with the Jose Mari Chan juggernaut.

Sure, there were some good laughs at her expense, with netizens remixing her gaffe into everything from budget jingles to reaction gifs. And it would have been her moment — had it been any other month. But then September hit, and with it came Chan’s smooth, haunting vocals, and the online world collectively decided that Sara’s political hiccup would have to wait until Chan is done serenading our timelines.

Even with all her political muscle, Sara cannot hope to overshadow the Chan Effect. No amount of budget defenses, mispronunciations, or Senate sparring matches can compete with the overpowering force that is Jose Mari Chan’s annual resurgence. His smile, his songs —like a Yuletide Pied Piper — lead the entire nation into a premature Christmas frenzy, sweeping everyone along in a whirlwind of holiday cheer (and financial panic).

Meanwhile, poor Sara is left standing there, “shimeneting” in the background, a viral sensation that just couldn’t outrun the meme king of the holiday season. So, here’s a lesson for the politically ambitious: in the Philippines, no matter how sharp your quips or how viral your videos, when September rolls around, even the brightest political stars must bow down to Jose Mari Chan — our nation’s true ruler of the -ber months.

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