Divine comedy

Several weeks have passed since the Divine One vanished into thin air like the biblical Elijah ascending to heaven in flesh and blood.

Still, others say he’s simply gone underground, like a shape-shifter, or is probably disguised as a pillar in his golden temple, hidden in plain sight among his faithful.

The centurions — led by a cocky general who descended from his watchtower after being plucked from the metro — are, bless their souls, doing their best to find him. Or are they?

They’ve searched his sprawling compound worthy of King David with his legendary harem, but to no avail, seemingly facing a demigod, also with women at his beck and call, in a kingdom of excess.

Oh, the desaparecido has a few demands, including a written guarantee from the King and his minister of justice that he won’t be extradited to the United States of Lala Land.

Such a bold colatilla before he would appear like an angel of the annunciation, he being accused of crimes that would give Herod, of niños inocentes infamy, reason to beam from ear to ear. But then, when you’re a divine being, who’s to say what’s unreasonable?

The minister has tried his mighty best to explain to the Divine One that their particular kingdom on earth has an extradition treaty with Lala Land, thus it would be a tad more complicated to give in to his desire not to be handed to the mob.

Do we hear shouts of Barabas, Barabas!? Summoning a psychic the authorities have resorted to, yet there’s no conjuring or divining where art he has gone, in this cosmic game of hide-and-seek that the palace seems to be losing.

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to concede that the Divine One has rejoined his heavenly father, maybe from up there, laughing at puny human attempts to find him, or maybe taking a long nap, hoping to wake up and find that the universe has blown his poisoned cup away from him.

Lest we forget, the Divine One has got a whole army of devoted followers who would do anything to protect him, and so, perhaps, it’s time to admit defeat to a being too powerful for us mere mortals.

Maybe he’s a force of nature, like Thanos, a divine being who transcends the laws of man. And until he’s ready to reveal himself, we’ll just have to wait patiently for his divine intervention.

Meantime, we can only hope that the divine being is enjoying his time in hiding. Maybe he’s finally getting a chance to relax, to unwind, to just be a regular guy. Or maybe he’s just planning his next move.

Whatever the case, not many people can say that they’ve searched long and hard for a Divine Being, not to seek absolution of their sins, but to make him pay for his own.