Healing the Mother Wound

All of us, consciously or unconsciously, are going about our lives living with the mother wound. Like it or not, it needs addressing. 

This is no clinical condition. And yet, it has deep mental causes that could manifest itself physically in the form of anxiety or depression. 

The bond

We have all been connected to our mothers in the womb. And this bond, no matter what age we are at, remains strong. 

It is believed that an infant and the mother are inseparable. This connection remains in one’s psyche. 

The sense of self and security of a child is connected to one’s relationship with the mother. 

Thus, if a mother was never there for her child, the Mother Wound occurs.

Are you carrying a Mother Wound?

You are a candidate if you have experienced the following:

Your mother was absent from your life experiences — from infancy to young adulthood.

Mother would provide your physical needs but was not emotionally-available.

You were emotionally repressed and not allowed to cry, or be angry or to vent your feelings.

You were extremely-criticized as a child.

Mother was an alcoholic or a drug addict.

Mother was a victim of domestic violence and never fought back.

Mother had an untreated  mental condition.

You were physically assaulted by your mother.

While the Mother Wound can be carried by both daughter and son, it is typically a daughter-mother situation. Thus, the effects of “under-mothering” can have  far-reaching implications. This is because, if left unresolved, daughters who become mothers may continue to carry on and eventually pass it onto their own daughters. It is an often repeated pattern. A pattern that is a chain requires breaking. 

Breaking loose

Negative feelings towards one’s mother can lead to resentment, unexplained anger, detachment and self-sabotaging habits that one is unaware of.

Why? Because you were never made to feel worthy or special as a child. Because you constantly needed to have her approval on your every decision. 

If you were not told as a child that you could be independently-strong and successful then chances are, you never will. 

This leads to:

*Lack of self-confidence

*Low self-esteem

*Inability to comfort yourself

*Relationship difficulties

It is time to:

1. Parent yourself. You are grown-up now. Be a mother to your inner child.

2. Express and release your deep-seated pain. Talk to your mother if you can. 

3. Forgive your mother. If you had an abusive mother and are unable to forgive, then you must find a way to self-heal. Seek professional help from a therapist.

4. Love yourself more each day. Be kind to yourself.

Affirmation: “I embrace my inner child to honor the Mother in me.”

Happy Mother’s Day!