I just got off the phone with a very good friend who was crying her heart out to me because she felt so lost and lonely, so isolated and alone. I probed into her state of mind and emotions and these were the reasons she felt so lonely.

Her boyfriend of five years broke up with her and she is clueless as to why he did it.

Her dog of 16 years who she considers family just died.

Her favorite aunt just left for the United States.

I advised my friend to do the following:

Ask her close girlfriends to throw a party for her and invite the best singletons around.

Scout around for a replacement dog.

Plan a trip to visit her aunt as soon as she is settled in the United States.

Work on a humanitarian project to alleviate the plight of the marginalized women and girls so that her mind gets occupied with matters greater than her problems and she won’t feel so lonely.

My girlfriend commented that all my advice were practical. She just wanted to be sure that she would be able to get out from her lonely state soon. I told her that the happiness she seeks is within her reach. She just needs to focus her mind in the positive and decide that she wants to be happy.

We met after two weeks and she looked like a completely different person. She had a shine in her eyes, a big smile on her lips and had a lovely little puppy in her arms.

She told me that she followed my advice. What worked best for her was the project for the marginalized women and girls that gave her such fulfillment and joy that she forgot all her troubles and misery. She then realized that thinking of others and helping them rise up with dignity and self-respect was a most noble cause. It was for her a eureka moment that filled her with such happiness. She remarked, “I want to thank you because you made me realize that I am a strong human being capable of rising above difficulties. The experience also taught me to love myself first because only then was I able to focus on others and give them the love I felt for myself. It enriched my self-confidence and gave me the push to think outside myself and reach out to the greater community among the men, women, boys and girls who need a helping hand which I was so willing provide.”

I told her I felt so proud of how she had turned around her problems into a winning star. We hugged, jumped for joy and cried tears of happiness.

I needed to share this winning story because such cases happen to all of us. Only when we reach out and ask for help do we realize that we are never alone because there will always be someone who will be willing to help and share their time and expertise to help others. This is the secret to finding happiness. It is right in our fingertips. We only need to reach out and get it because real happiness resides in our hearts and minds. Once we decide to be happy then our minds and hearts act out in unison to bring out the happiness that we thought was difficult to have. Let us remember that otherness is a virtue we should always practice. Surely happiness will follow.

The author is one of 100 Most Influential Global Filipinas for her books and advocacy work. She was recognized as one of The Outstanding Women in the Nation’s Service (TOWNS). As a social historian, she has written 46 coffee table books in the last 25 years found in select libraries around the world.