Much has been made about the purported difference in treatment between our very own President Marcos and Japanese Prime Minister Kishida during their recent simultaneous visits to the United States for a trilateral meeting with President Biden. 

In broad, some of our countrymen chided Marcos for not being given state honors during his visit. This, they claimed, denigrated our President and relegated our country to the status of a vassal state.

In fairness to Marcos, however, the critique was much too harsh.

Mr. Marcos had his share of official honors during his visit in May 2023, where he was briefly met by Biden and had snacks with Vice President Kamala Harris in her office’s basement. Our leader was also given full honors at the Pentagon, where he conferred with Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin. In his free time, Marcos was able to speak in a few fora with Filipino-Americans and American personalities.

Of course, critics will point out that the May sojourn was merely an official visit, a notch lower than a state visit, but it is what it is. Kishida’s visit, they say, was a meeting of equals, as a state visit is, according to diplomatic practice, the highest manifestation of intimate relations between two countries. 

It’s kind of like an official visit is foreplay, while a state visit goes “all the way.” Thus, the Japanese premier was entitled to an arrival honor guard and a 19-gun salute, a state dinner, a one-on-one tete-a-tete with Biden, and to address the United States Congress.  

But those differentiations are neither here nor there. Even in our personal lives, there are gradations of friendship. There are a few whom we consider our best friends, practically family, who are welcome to visit anytime, and to whom we come running when we need help or when they are the ones in trouble, and with whom we regularly go out to drink, have meals and share stories and confidences. These are our allies. 

Then there are those from whom we are more detached. They receive invitations whenever we have parties, and they get presents every Christmas, but we don’t want them around all the time. After them are those who are more like formal acolytes, whom we work with and with whom we transact professionally. The last are staff, those who are at our beck and call who do the things we can’t or won’t do. These are the “alalays.”

So to the US, are we an ally, or an alalay? The answer might be somewhere in between. Let’s face it, we are still too small to matter much, and until we become stronger, we can only take what is given to us. Sad…