Hearts on fire

Love begets love in all forms and shades and encourages reciprocity capable of thawing even the cruelest hearts.

Many people yearn for romantic love; some settle for a platonic one without strings attached. It shows kindness, goodwill, humility, and generosity towards others, hoping they will behave the same way and drop boundaries.

What is the world without love? Indeed, it is a timeless and universal concept, a modern construct, the only thing healing and fulfilling to soothe a weeping heart.

Ironically, legends speak of the tragic origin of celebrating an otherwise happy occasion for love. The most common was the Catholic Church story, which honored the martyrdom of a priest named Valentine, whom Roman Emperor Claudius II executed in the 3rd century for defying his orders prohibiting performing marriage rites on soldiers who were forbidden to marry.

Love is such a powerful feeling that the best minds try to dissect it from different directions — physical, scientific, and spiritual perspectives. The late Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago described it as “a manifestation of various neurochemical processes in the brain that influence our body’s biochemistry.” Others point to the musings of Greek philosophy: Ludus — Playful love, Eros — Romantic love, Pragma — Enduring love, Mania —Obsessive love, Philia — Affectionate love, Storge — Familiar love, Philautia — Self-love, and Agape — Unconditional love of all.

Whatever it is, I am just a simple man who does not wish to philosophize this wonderful feeling. My pragmatic view comes from my being a hopeless romantic, driven by a desire to turn everything complex into something simple yet stable. I believe in second and third chances when following the heart’s desires, even in the face of unrequited love. Everyone must love and be loved, though not all will indeed have happy endings.

My first love was my wife Rose, whom I met while working in Japan as an Overseas Filipino Worker for a Japanese stamped metal manufacturing company in Kobe City. The company trained me to be a manufacturing machine setter and maintenance guy while my future wife worked as an engineer in the quality control department. Most of the time, we would clash because I was motivated by a desire to produce as many products as possible, and she, on the other hand, kept trying to stop my production because the samples did not pass their quality control standards. Whenever she told me to stop the machine, I would feel anger because how in the world would I be able to meet my daily quota? But then, alas, the anger slowly turned into a yearning for her face to go to me and tell me to stop the machines; then it slowly turned into care until I felt like I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I courted her by sending cards with sweet notes and simple gifts. I was making ends meet by then, so eating at home was preferred to eating in restaurants.

Romantic love, the kind of love we see in a Hallmark movie, is what I want to celebrate on February 14. Cheers is our default reaction to lovely couples madly in love and jeers when they suddenly fall out of it. We wish them heartfelt good luck with a smiley emoji and offer our two cents of Alfred Lord Tennyson: “It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all.”

Such is the hearts on fire; it is a burning sensation filled with an irreconcilable flame that intensifies our humanity, not the heart of fire that extinguishes it, not the killjoy Valentine’s Day tragedy in 2005 when a terrorist group exploded three bombs simultaneously in 3 cities, killing at least nine people and injuring more than a hundred. Love gives, and love takes; it’s one thing we badly need every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.

Like in previous years, we expect restaurants and movie houses to be fully booked as early as today, flowers and chocolates sourced from Dangwa and other stores to be emptied, and never-ending traffic that goes all the way to the Skyway. Those who want to celebrate it with a low budget can buy roses being peddled at a lower price when the jeepneys and buses stop at traffic lights, have dinner at home, or exchange sweet nothings via free social media apps on mobile phones. No matter how you spend, the thoughts count, right?

As parents, we delight in seeing grown-up children falling in love (“been there, done that”) and commiserate with them when the relationships get tricky (you’ll learn from it). It does not matter how often we fall in love or out of it; it is how fast we can stand up to pick up the pieces and move forward. There is nothing to fear; love is a healthy state.

Love never fails, as they say. It is such a tidy phrase, yet it is true. As always, it is people who fail in love.

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