Growing up in a "completely different context, as Dr. Nathalie Verceles, director of the Centre for Women's and Gender Studies at the University of the Philippines, describes in an article about birth rates recently, has made women today hesitant, if not downright against, having children.

The main reasons include financial means, the changing perception of gender roles, today's nontraditional lifestyles, and a rising defensiveness against social tenets.

Young women are far more vocal about their wants and needs, and in today's global society, people are far more accepting of non-traditional choices.

The choice to be child-free was never one I would have made, and for a long time, I was tortured by the thought that I had to have a child to be "complete" as a woman.

Well, what if God had other plans? What if I was never meant to be a mom, being an "undomestic goddess," as a book calls it — and not much of a nurturer, I have been told?

Some poor cacti have died in my "care," after all. What would happen to a child of mine when I never seem to have enough time?

Some years ago, these issues caught up with me at last. I had to find a way to define myself, not getting a lot of guidance from the elders in my family who, like many of their generation, believed it was every woman's duty to bear children. Never mind the soaring population, the dying planet, and whole other ways of nurturing something.

It was torture of another kind.

Like most Gen Xers stuck between the old ways and the new, I had to find a spot where I fit, a decision to let go of hurtful ideas and embrace what was real in my life. In life.

Or maybe it was just me growing up at last and realizing I should not try to fit in other people's molds but make my own — just mine.

Apparently, a lot more women nowadays also no longer feel apologetic for being child-free —they are choosing to be child-free!

A recent article about actor Nadine Lustre is particularly telling. In a vlog where she was asked how many kids she would want, her reply: "Yung answer ko dyan, it changed so much because of everything that's been going on. Before, every time people would ask me, I would say two. But right now, I would say wala (none).

"Because there are so many people na on Earth, and I do believe that there are lots of kids who don't have parents and who need taking care of. So I feel like if I do wanna have kids, I might just adopt. Sustainability!"

Celebrity Maxene Magalona is also quoted in an article about being often asked the off-putting question of why she wasn't having babies yet as if the topic were stuff for small talk. For her, it felt "awkward, invasive, and can be a bit rude."

Indeed, society remains 'expectant' of married women getting pregnant right away, or at some point. Yet even those who choose to 'delay' pregnancy are eyed with disfavor. And those who are not Angelina Jolie may get derided for choosing adoption.

Perceptions are changing, it appears, based on the Commission on Population and Development report citing a "significant drop in the number of births in 2020. It said there were "just 1,516,042 million (births) registered in the country — the lowest number registered since 1986, when only 1,493,995 Filipinos were born," based on a preliminary report of the Philippine Statistics Authority in June 2021.

According to Population and Development Undersecretary Juan Antonio Perez III in the article, this could be attributed to "the combined impacts of fewer marriages, women delaying pregnancies during the pandemic, and increase in women using modern family planning methods to prevent unplanned pregnancies."

These days, more young people are choosing the nomadic life, and settling down just does not mean the same thing anymore. The pandemic, wars, and climate change have also factored into the decisions people make nowadays. That is the spawn of these times.