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Wrong bag, inverted life vest




There’s a tale going around the Internet, actually a joke, about a plane that was about to crash in Tacloban. There were five passengers on board, but only four parachutes were available.

The first passenger said, “I am VP Leni Robredo, the chosen one. The Philippines needs me, I can’t afford to die.” So, she took the first parachute and left the plane.

The second passenger, Romulo Macalintal, said, “I am the lawyer of the VP, so I can’t afford to die.” He took the second parachute and jumped out of the plane.

The third passenger, Chel Diokno, said, “I’m against the death penalty, a lot of people depend on me.” So, he grabbed the parachute next to him and jumped.

The fourth passenger who looks like President Duterte, told the fifth passenger, a 10-year-old boy, “I have lived a full life and served my country the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.”

The boy said, “That’s okay, sir. There’s a parachute left for you. VP Leni Robredo grabbed my SCHOOL BAG.”


Two premium properties, a five-star luxury hotel in Ortigas Center and a mall at the corner of EDSA and Shaw Boulevard, are said to be up for grabs to the right buyer.

The mall, built in 1991, has 300 stores in a 175,000-square-meter floor area. The main building of the property has eight floors and a basement parking. The North wing is made up of 10 floors while the East wing has six floors and a basement parking.

What should be of interest to would-be buyers is the adjacent luxury hotel built a year after the construction of the mall. It has 632 rooms in its 19 floors, well within a lot area of 24,124-square meters. With four international restaurants and two lounges, the hotel is pure luxury in a busy central business district.

We’re sure you know by now the identities of these two premium properties. But would you also know how much they are worth?

Allegedly, the asking package price for both hotel and mall is a whopping $4.5 billion.

By the way, the property owners, we heard, are offering 3 percent commission to agents who could close a deal, pronto!

Speaking of properties, we also heard that Sterling Bank and Citystate Savings Bank are also up for sale. And it’s not only one, not two, but all 47 of Sterling’s and 33 of Citystate’s branches nationwide.

These branches include those in Antipolo, Baclaran, Baliwag, Batangas, Binondo, Blumentritt, Caloocan, Cebu, Chino Roces in Makati, Dagupan, Greenhills, Guadalupe, Katipunan in Quezon City, Las Piñas, Mabini in Manila, Meycauayan, Muntinlupa, Panaderos, Paco, Pasay, Perea, Puerto Princesa, Shaw Boulevard in Mandaluyong, Sta. Lucia, Sta. Rosa in Laguna, Taguig and Urdaneta in Pangasinan.

Sterling is asking interested buyers to present their company profile and certification from the Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) that they have the capability of running a bank or any member of the board has banking experience. It also requires a proof of funds and a letter of intent.

Citystate, on the other hand, requires a company profile, capacity to purchase, capacity to run a bank and license to operate a bank from the BSP.

Want to know their asking price? We heard it’s all in for 20 billion for Sterling and 5 billion for Citystate. We just don’t know whether it’s in pesos or dollars. As we said, we just overheard it.


TITTLE-TATTLES: Somebody from the Palace intimated to us that during President Duterte’s meeting with President Xi Jinping in Boao, he allegedly told his Chinese counterpart: “I am into business. I am not going to war. We can postpone that war 100 years from now…”
Reporters covering the campaign sorties of the opposition Otso Diretso can’t help but notice the sparse crowd everywhere it went, with some even going to the extent of jeering them and shouting the name of the person they love to criticize so much. Oh well. That’s how politics goes… Filipino voters can sometimes be cruel and mean, as in the case of some netizens who criticized opposition senatorial bet Samira Gutoc for posting her photo in a jet ski waving the Philippine flag and appeared all set to go to disputed Scarborough Shoal with the rest of her fellow Otso Diretso bets. Nothing wrong with that. The trouble is her wearing an inverted life vest did not escape unnoticed by eagle-eyed netizens who slammed her for such a boo-boo…

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