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Best bang for the butt



A man who was purportedly trying to visit a prisoner in Cebu City himself landed in jail Tuesday afternoon after authorities foiled his attempt to smuggle a banned drug to an inmate.

Following a tip about a possible drug smuggling attempt, Cebu jail authorities decided to conduct a thorough body search on incoming visitors of detainees.

A search in one man, whom the reports did not identify, yielded 20 pieces of Nubain ampules which were in a condom hidden inside his anal cavity. Nubain, a painkiller with opioid mix, is classified by the Dangerous Drugs Board as an illegal drug since 2011 and has reportedly become an alternative for shabu.

Cebu City warden, Supt. Renante Rubio, was quoted in the reports as saying they had previously caught three women attempting to smuggle drugs hidden in their genitalia but this is the first time a similar attempt was done by a man through his rectal orifice.

The suspect admitted he owned the ampules which he intended to give to an inmate. The suspect probably thought that by selling the drug to the inmates he could get the best bang for his butt.