And the best actor goes to: Philippines!

“Guys, respeto naman sa class president, oh!” — este, ASEAN President pala!

As the Philippines assumes the chair of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) for 2026, embracing the theme "Navigating Our Future, Together"—with the official theme song "Together in Motion" performed by the celebrated P-pop group SB19—the rule is simple: cooperation, collective effort, and a collective “HUH?!”

Thousands of visitors are expected to flock to the event. Massive crowds mean a massive government budget!

Looking back at past Philippine ASEAN hostings across administrations: Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo spent around P1 billion in 2007, Rodrigo Duterte allocated P3.79 billion in 2017, and today, Ferdinand Marcos Jr.’s administration has ballooned the figure to a staggering P22.9 billion!

A crazy figure, but not shocking—just a very Marcos-style branding.

Even the urban aesthetics make you feel like you’re back in martial law times, when the kingmaker herself, Imelda Marcos, spearheaded the makeover of Metro Manila as a grand hospitality gesture for foreign visitors.

Road and sidewalk pressure-washing along Roxas Boulevard, Macapagal Boulevard, Taft Avenue, and the streets around Baclaran Redemptorist Avenue; the erection of painted wooden walls; and temporary vendor-clearing operations on roadsides.

It is giving the “Kaya mo naman pala, pero bakit pagdating sa ‘kin hirap na hirap ka?” trend. Or, in traditional Filipino home culture: “Nak, ilabas mo nga ang mamahaling kubyertos, plato, at baso, may dadating na bisita.”

How nice to see our government move so quickly and show such dedication to huge projects. But then, for whom? For foreign leaders, celebrities, and international delegates?

Amid high inflation and massive poverty accumulation among households, all of a sudden, we are temporarily "fine." It is a façade of smiles and a quick makeover, as if normal Filipinos are not worthy of experiencing that same basic care and gesture from our own government.

What can you expect from a corrupt country leading its neighbors? We may be the chair, but ordinary Filipinos are not happy playing pretend. It seems that people have been more excited for Angelina Jolie's ASEAN visit than our hosting.

Why can’t we be honest? What kind of message are we trying to send to the world? We cannot boast of stability and wealth that we do not possess—not when we are merely masking our aching impurities behind a multi-billion-peso pageantry.