PHOTO courtesy of Senate of the Philippines/FB
OPINION

Win is Chinese

Long silence. The nation is weeping now. Not because Win is Chinese. The most painful part was Risa was the last to know.

Vernon Velasco

WinRi stocks are soaring. Everything is going beautifully. The smiles. The glances.The nation is already designing wedding invitations.

Then Risa learns Win is Chinese.

“Win… is it true?”

Win sighs. “Risa. My name is Win Gatchalian.”

“I know.”

“My mother is Dee Hua Ting.”

“I know.”

“My father is William Gatchalian.”

”I know.”

“I literally look like this.”

“I know.”

She collapses into a chair. Win stares.

Long silence. The nation is weeping now. Not because Win is Chinese. The most painful part was Risa was the last to know.

Finally, Win speaks.

“Risa, if I walked into a Chinese restaurant, what do you think would happen?”

“I don’t know.”

“They would hand me a menu.”

The Internet has been speaking in hushed tones about Win.

“We got him.”

“If Win Gatchalian can sneak up on you, what else are you missing?”

The theory, you see, is that Win was allegedly naturalized at 10 years old. Now, according to the Constitution, a naturalized Filipino cannot become a senator.

Huge problem. Tiny detail. Wrong Gatchalian. Fake news. It was his dad. A devastating defeat for the trolls.

But, imagine, supposed, hypothetically, if the government made a mistake. Then promoted the mistake. Then reelected the mistake. Then made the mistake Senate President Pro Tempore.

That’s a very successful mistake. Hall of Fame.

What’s more alarming: the possibility that it happened, or the possibility that nobody noticed? What’s stronger, a vote or a birth certificate?

Because, remember Bamban? Alice Guo changed the country’s relationship with assumptions. What if the thing everyone assumed was true was only true because everyone assumed it was true?

Nobody asks questions until somebody asks the question.

Win became mayor, congressman, senator. Then one day people start asking whether the first step happened correctly. Like discovering Chapter 1 after you’ve already read Chapter 30.

For decades, political opponents could have had every incentive to destroy Win with a citizenship case. Someone already tried. Years ago. When Win ran for Congress. The challenge failed.

Win stayed. Won. Won again. Won again. Which, frankly, is not complicated. His name is Win.

You can’t name a kid Win and then expect second place. The poor guy has been under pressure his entire life. Imagine losing to a guy named Win. Embarrassing. Imagine Win losing. Even more embarrassing.

Now how wrong can a country be about a politician? Very wrong. Spectacularly wrong.

Tarlac thought they had a mayor. Then Bamban happened. In the US, federal prosecutors said Arcadia had a mayor who had been acting as an illegal agent of China.

People thought they had a senator. Then Bob Menendez was convicted of acting as an agent of Egypt.

Russia thought it had a regional president. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov. Former president of Kalmykia. He claimed aliens abducted him aboard a yellow spaceship.

Officials weren’t worried about the aliens. They were worried he might have told the aliens government secrets. Amazing species.