When north and south meet

My aunt rang me via video call early this week as my 97-year-old grandmother Lola Lili had been looking for me. “Asa si Lia? (Bisaya for ‘Where is Lia?’),” she asked my aunt several times. I proceeded to have a heartening chat with my lola. It definitely made my day.

I had just visited her last May and it has only been a little over three months since I last saw her. Even so, I still miss being beside her. Talking about the good old days, singing familiar, much-loved songs, praying and giving thanks together. It is within this personal context of missing loved ones who live far away that I hear about the long-awaited reunion of Koreans separated from each other since the 1950s.

I cannot even begin to imagine what it must be like to not see your immediate family and closest relatives for years, let alone decades!

Over 200 older citizens from both South and North Korea, roughly 100 from each side, had been chosen and given the opportunity to meet their relatives from the other side. For many, it has been almost seven decades of a long and heart-wrenching ordeal, wondering what happened to their family members. Did they survive the war? Are they still alive?

Separated Koreans had no choice but to be estranged from each other, losing all means of contact after the Korean War, which began in 1950. As the war ended in a truce in 1953, Koreans who were in the North were strictly forbidden by the regime there from meeting with, exchanging phone calls, writing letters or emailing relatives in the South.

What exhilarating great news it must have been for those who learnt they had been granted their life’s desire, to see their loved ones after almost a lifetime apart! Sadly, a handful of those chosen to be part of the reunions opted to not push through as they learnt that the kin they had waited all these years to spend even just a few moments with had already died.

I have always admired the immense work that the International Red Cross does to help people who find themselves in the most helpless, dire and catastrophic of situations. Such bearers of hope and compassion when things go utterly wrong on a grand scale.

My heartfelt and most sincere salute to the Red Cross volunteers, staff and supporters for their crucial humanitarian work around the world. A special mention for all they did and will continue to do, to make the inter-Korean reunions possible.

There have only been 20 similar brief gatherings in the past 18 years (bbc.com). Not close to being enough for the many who, through no fault of their own, continue to not see nor meet family members.

To put this week’s South and North Korea reunions in perspective, since 1988 more than 75,200 South Koreans who applied for reunions have passed away without seeing their siblings, parents or children ever again (nytimes.com). What a staggering human tragedy!

In May this year alone, government data revealed that 462 South Korean applicants for reunions died before their applications could be acted upon (nytimes.com).

Over 57,000 Koreans, most of whom are in their 80s or 90s, are waiting to be selected by lottery (cnn.com). Only 98 families were chosen for the reunion at Mount Kumgang tourist resort. The brief reunions, which took place in over three days but totaled just 11 hours of being with family, were, as expected, heart-wrenching. There was wailing, disbelief, relief and joy.

For the over 56,000 who were not chosen, there was also probably wailing and disbelief, too.

In this day and age when video calls and instant messaging are the norm, it is unthinkable to keep loved ones away from each other.

The optimist in me hopes that for as long as there are compassionate world leaders, determined individuals and commendable organizations such as the International Red Cross working double time to push for more frequent reunions, the tears of sadness will soon turn to ones of joy.