That’s what friends are for

It was International Friendship Day a few weeks back and it got me thinking about the friends I have made since I was young. Moving to different cities and schools each year of my primary years up until my second year of high school with my adventurous family was a test for my social skills. A priceless lesson that has taught me to reach out to people of varied personalities, social backgrounds, race and age groups. An enduring learning in appreciating one’s fellow pilgrim and journeying with them in happy times and in sad ones, too.

When it comes to friendship, you alone can really fathom the awe-inspiring and crucial support a fellow human being can give you. I have heard of many stories of a friend literally being one’s seeming last remaining lifeline.

As I moved from Manila to Cagayan de Oro City to Cebu back to Manila and then to Geelong, Australia, you can imagine the immense amount of adapting, adjusting and settling in that had to take place. The challenging process of making friends, letting go and making new buddies once more. And this was just my primary school years!

When I hit first year high school in Surigao City, the barkada (group of friends), the little interest clique, the magkapitbahay (neighbors) bunch had already been formed since grade school. I was the girl from abroad, having recently returned from Australia. The tall one with a different twang. There I was adjusting to a different, more rigorous educational system and a different city with no friend as yet. It was the year before Typhoon “Nitang” devastated Surigao City. It was at this at once carefree and demanding period when I made new friends once more. Some have fortunately found me on social media in recent years and we have since reconnected. One of them has remained an enduring friend I can count on. It helps (a lot!) that we live in the same country now, the same state even!

When Typhoon “Nitang” left a trail of destruction in Surigao, my parents thought it best for my siblings and I to continue our education in our Mama’s hometown of Cagayan de Oro City. The better for us to continue our studies and for Papa to focus on overseeing the rebuilding of our dear Surigao City as its governor.

In a rush I had to bid my newfound friends farewell and, mid-school year, make new friends once more at Lourdes College High School. There I made another truly lasting friendship that remains strong to this day, despite us being thousands of miles away from each other. Whenever we talk over Viber or Skype, it is as if we never spent a day apart.

Many times we find the interesting coincidence that we are going through similar challenges or questioning about life, health, faith and relationships. It is mind boggling how calming it is to hear from and be heard by a true friend. I am mindful of and thankful for this blessing.

My time at university is one of the best times of my life. No surprise that some of my heartwarming friendships were made during those amazing years of learning and philosophical musings.

Back in high school though, I would sometimes wonder if I was at a disadvantage because I was not part of a big barkada. I am now certain that like many other things in life, friendship is not about the quantity but definitely all about the quality. At certain low points in my life, I have had the blessing of having at least one true friend by my side.

As I turned the wonderful age of 40, I thought I already had all the friends I needed. Only for life to prove to me that there is always room for one, two or a handful more.

I reflect on all this now and realize with gratitude that the dynamic of learning to cultivate relationships and to let go when the time came, has served me well. I suppose we all need a bit of practice in building, nurturing and, at times, moving on when life situations prod us towards other friendships. If someone is draining us and zapping the joy and energy out of us, we also have the right and the responsibility to choose who we keep in our close circle of friends.

Whenever my children and I talk about friendship, the fun and the tricky times, I am confident they are getting lessons that can only help them make genuine lifelong allies and have healthy, life-giving relationships.

I dedicate this article to all my treasured friends in the Philippines, Australia, Japan, China, Brazil, United States of America and all around the world. Hooray to all you priceless angels out there who make our problems more bearable, our days more bright and our disposition more cheerful!

Today is as good a day as any to let our friends know, just how much they mean to us.