Words and context

“It’s only fair people expect those in power and leadership positions to mind their words.”

When the First Lady of the United States Melania Trump wore a jacket that had the words, “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” it made me sit up and take notice. A few days before donning that jacket, she issued a statement saying the United States needs a government that “follows all laws,” but also a country “that governs with heart.” Her statement made me hopeful. She was taking a stand that broke away from the “zero tolerance” rhetoric and policy of her husband.

I read up on the matter of the olive green jacket and learned she had worn it as she boarded a flight to visit a center in Texas which houses migrant children separated from their parents at the US-Mexico border.

Her spokeswoman Stephanie Grisham said, “It’s just a jacket,” and there was no hidden meaning to it. I find it a confusing fashion choice, to say the least. Having read up on what she did the day she wore that jacket, I decided what she accomplished for those migrant children far outweighed whatever was written on her anorak.

I have never believed in the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Cruel words can and do hurt. Mean words can leave scars in one’s psyche.

On the other hand, used wisely, words have the power to lift us up, to inspire and help us achieve heights we never thought possible. Words can even help bring about societal change.

I am reminded of a phrase I first heard when I was a teenager. I felt it was a strong rallying cry in the mid 80s: “Hindi ka nag-iisa.” Such powerful words continue to resonate with me to this day.

It’s only fair people expect those in power and leadership positions to mind their words. The tone of language in any nation’s politics will and does affect the conversations in the smallest of barangays, the littlest of households.

It is also fair for each and every one of us to take responsibility for minding what we say or, if we do not know all the pertinent facts, do some research so we can make an informed comment on the matter at hand. When we do not know enough about something, have the courage and humility to withhold judgment or harsh words and admit that we do not know enough as yet. I have to remind myself sometimes to never be embarrassed to say, “I’ll get back to you on that,” when I still need to do a fact check, background investigation or a simple enough Google search. This should be common sense really. Unfortunately, I have observed some don’t seem to care about finding the time to check the facts. Perhaps it is not instant enough for this fact-paced world we live in.

I recently clicked on a link which led me to an online exchange of opinions. As I read on, the debate, more like argument, was becoming more and more intense. The hardline criticisms became more personal and downright nasty. The tone of disrespect was starting to weigh on me. I, who was not even a party to the conversation, felt burdened by the hate in their words. It degenerated to a thread that hurled insults and resorted to name-calling.

Most of us are social media users and consumers. If we are unable to click ourselves away from all this pessimism and noise, it can be mighty draining. I clicked out of the link, closed the page and thought very few of us are immune to this exhausting and energy zapping negativity. Not us, not our youth.

Every now and then, inflammatory words are carelessly bandied about by a few of our leaders, perhaps some colleagues, naysayers, strangers online or maybe even one or two of our friends or family members. Before “copy-pasting” or echoing such divisive comments or joining the bandwagon, it does not hurt to do some homework. Find out the context, learn more about the situation or issues the words highlight and bring attention to. It is a good time to be reminded of what elders usually say to the young. Mind your words. Don’t jump to conclusions. Do your homework.

I dare say, if you care enough to be upset by words spoken by our leaders, care enough to learn more about the issues that brought about the utterance of such words. No matter your political affiliation, it can do us a whole lot of good to do our darndest to fact-check in today’s fast-paced, instant, one-liner social media milieu. Where possible, let us find the words that lift us up.