Dear guys, let your girl travel alone

We know. You wouldn’t want other men gazing at her while she explores a city she is visiting for the first time. Or you can’t imagine her being mugged, getting lost or talking to people she barely knows.

It has been weeks, probably months, since she’s been hinting about going to places without you. It started with her random gush of women who are traveling solo, then she follows blogs and threads about solo backpacking.

And then, one day, she declares, “I want to travel alone,” as if she’s not seeking for approval, merely informing.

She’s quite sure, this woman. And she believes she can make it. But how willing are you to let her?

But, first, let the series of questions begin. “What if she meets another traveler and they hit it off?” or “Where will she stay? Is she safe there? Why on earth would she want to travel without me?”

You are clouded with paranoia, and this might be a little tricky to tackle, especially if this is the first time. Or is the issue that idea that you can’t trust her capabilities?

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you to be with her.

Yes, you might have traveled with your girlfriend many times before and they were memorable. Great! But what if she wants to do it this time on her own?

A girl who travels alone is not completely brave. Sure, she may look confident and sure of herself, but there will always be a tinge of fear and doubt of the unknown. Every traveler probably feels that way. And that’s what they want to conquer ─ the doubting phase. To know that she can come back braver and smarter, and more open-minded on life and love.

It changes her perspective and she comes back better.

A girl who travels solo is prepared. Chances are, you need not worry where she’ll be sleeping for the night because she has things figured out even before she leaves. And what if things do not go as planned, you ask? If she believes in herself and knows her capabilities, the greatest gift you can give is the support and encouragement to try things on her own.

Believe that she can do it. Because she definitely will.

It doesn’t mean it’s her ticket to cheat or to get away from you either.

If you think this way, then there might be something wrong with your relationship. It’s not an issue of traveling alone or being away from one another. It has got to do with trust. You can say no to her traveling alone but still have doubts even when she stays.

Sure, she’ll meet a lot of people along the way, share the same interests with them, and develop friendships of a lifetime. Don’t feel insecure. Trust that she knows her limitations.

It’s her way of growing and learning to be independent.

She wouldn’t want to rely on you for everything just as she doesn’t ask you to pay the restaurant bill all the time or carry her bag. She doesn’t want you to think she cannot handle things if you were not on her side. You’ll be amazed at how she can pitch a tent, learn to surf, bike around a new town, conduct missions, cook a foreign meal and learn a different language.

Let her reach her own summit and conquer her life’s biggest waves.

Give her the freedom and let her know that she does not have to lose her person the moment she said yes to you.

She is an individual capable of making great things out of what she has been used to do. She is destined to make and create. And she is blessed to have you on her side, cheering her on.

She is a wild heart, your girl. As are all the women who choose to go places and meet people, learn from them and go back home with endless tales of life lessons and breathtaking sights.

As for you, do what makes you happy. Give time for your

self to do your passion. She’ll gladly support you, just as you put your trust and support on her endeavors.

Relationships do not mean always being with each other. People in long-distance relationships—who braved being years apart—prove just that.

What could be more heartwarming than having a partner who encourages you to go out and make a difference, not only for herself, but for people around her, too?

Grow independently, but together. It’s one of the most treasured gifts a relationship offers.

Gelyka Dumaraos is a 27-year-old wild-heart wanderer based in Manila. She does freelance content writing work for health and travel. When not on the road, she is busy meeting deadlines while spending time with her family. She graduated with a degree in Journalism at University of the East-Manila.