Wagyu, ‘wag-mo!

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Only beef from cattle raised the traditional Japanese way can be called “Wagyu.” Tradition calls on the farmers to massage and even sing to the animal, mind you.

But not all “Wagyu” are created equal because the Kobe variety comes from cattle that are served ice cold beer probably to marinade them while still alive. That’s a joke, if you’re not laughing.

Seriously, Kobe beef can cost you as much as $600 per serving at a Michelin star restaurant. That’s a king’s ransom, but well worth the flavor, tenderness and perfect marbling you get from a cut of Kobe beef seared just right.

In the Philippines, meat inspectors chanced upon two live cattle forced to drink a lot of water so they’d weigh heavier and fetch a higher price — an old trick of the trade.

And that’s missing the point entirely for Filipino farmers. Wagyu beef is delicious coming from well-loved and pampered cattle. But to water-board those poor Batangas cows?

What’s that, making bulalo out of them while still alive?

‘Wag mo! Don’t!

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